GANGLAND ACRE WOODS
by HabboBella14111
Summary: WINNIE THE POOH AND FRIENDS IF THEY LIVED IN THE GANGLANDS.
1. Chapter 1

_**GANGLAND…. ACRE WOODS!**_

One day, Piglet was walking through the 100 Acre Woods, searching for his best friend Pooh Bear.

But then Owl came along.

"Hi, Owl!" said Piglet.

"Hi, Piglet," said Owl.

"Hey, have you seen Pooh Bear?" said Piglet.

"Why no, I haven't," said Owl.

"Oh dear. It's terribly important." Said Piglet.

"Well, I am the wisest person in the forest, " said Owl. "Is it anything I can help with?"

Piglet looked worried. He began to cry.

"Oh no!" said owl. "I am sorry! Don't cry!"

Piglet stopped crying. "I'm sorry Owl," said Piglet, "but I am terribly distressed. You see… I am pregnant with Pooh's cubs."

Owl gasped. "Oh no!" said Owl. "But how?"

Piglet weeped somemore. "He ripped open my seams and spilled his honey into my virgin stuffing. I feel so dirty."

Owl thought for a moment. "Well," said Owl. "You could always ask Christopher Robin. I'm sure his parents are abortionists."

"Thanks a lot Owl!" said Piglet happily. And he went on his merry way.

'Hi, Christopher Robin!' Said Piglet.

'Hi, Piglet!' said Christopher Robin.

Piglet cried some more.

'Oh no!' said Christopher Robin, 'What is wrong, my friend Piglet?'

'Pooh Bear knocked me up!' said Piglet weepily.

'Oh no!' said Christopher Robin, 'I know! I can help you out!'

Piglet looked up with tears in his eyes, but he looked happy.

'How?' said Piglet.

'Well, my parents are the bestest abortionist in the whole of the 100 Acre Woods!' said Christopher Robin, 'and as luck would have it, yesterday was…. Bring Your Kids to Work Day!'

'Oh! Yay!' said Piglet, 'How does this work?'

'Like this!' said Christopher Robin.

Christopher Robin picked Piglet up and put him on the abortion room.

'Are you ready, my friend Piglet?' said Christopher Robin.

'Yes! Oh yes, Christopher Robin! I'm ready for you!' said Piglet.

Christopher Robin took off his rigid pastel blue blouse and in one dramatic motion tossed it upon as unsuspecting Piglet.

'Christopher Robin!' said Piglet. 'What are you doing?'

'Getting ready.' Said Christopher Robin in a pessimistic, sinisterly adult voice.

'Okay.' Said Piglet.

Christopher Robin got down on his hands and knees, his mouth opening slightly with his sluggish scarlet, plump, moist tongue protruding. He embellished his puckered, chapped lips with salty, yet slightly sweet, saliva.

'Close your eyes.' Growled Christopher Robin.

Pivoting back on his spindly pencil like legs of a small goat, Christopher Robin drew back his taut red fist and massaged it sensually against his patient's protruding ears. Then, all of a sudden…

Suddenly Christopher Robin screamed in a high pitched war cry of frustration and aggravation and he lunged at the poor pink ragdoll pig, pounding him incessantly with his angry ADHD fists of fury.

"Christopher Robin stop stop!" Piglet said.

But Christopher Robin didn't stop. Bruise upon bruise scapulated the surface of poor Piglet's furry flesh. Christopher Robin, who was wearing steel capped cleats, began to stomp all over Piglet. Piglets screamed and screamed but Christopher Robin screamed louder.

Then it all stopped.

Piglet began to gasp and cry, his salty red blood saturating Christopher Robin's mom's favourite blouse. But his sanctuary was to be short lived – in one penultimate violent motion Christopher Robin drew back his bloodied fists once again and punched Piglet long and hard. He punched him IN THE BABY.

Piglet screamed and his tooths flew out. Christopher Robin gave him some medicine.

'Did it work?' said Piglet.

'Hmm,' said Christopher Robin. 'it seems that it has not worked. But do not worry fair Piglet. My parents are abortionists and I know where they keep their tools of the trade, if you know what I mean.'

So Christopher Robin walked across to a big cast iron chest in the corner or the room, and started to unlock all the locks and chains which embellished the surface of the chest. Finally he got down to the lid and opened it cartefully. Inside were various shiny silver metal tools that looked pointy. Christopher Robin grabbed a few tools and went back over to Piglet.

'Hold still.' Said Christopher Robin.

Christopher Robin grabbed Piglet by the trotter and flipped him over onto his back. Piglet gasped. Christopher Robin took out some scissors and began to cut open Piglet's stitches. Suddenly all the stitches burst open suddenly and fluff and pus cascaded out of the gaping wound. Christopher Robin tiraded in disgust as some got on his face. After he had wiped it all off he found in the middle of Piglet a small, red and pink thing all curled up like a prawn like those babies you see on the Discovery Channel. Christopher Robin began to cry.

'Oh god!' Christopher Robin exclaimed. 'What have I done!'

'What's wrong,Christopher Robin?' asked Piglet warily.

Christopher Robin held up a mirror for Piglet to see into his gaping behind. Piglet saw the fruit of Pooh Bear's loins.

'Oh my god!' said Piglet! 'It's beautiful! I can't give this up! Please put my stitches back in so I can tell Pooh Bear.'

'Ok.' Said Christopher Robin.

So he did.

Soon Piglet was okay again. He left Christopher Robin's house in the best of moods. He was having a babby.


	2. Chapter 2

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING YOU USELESS PIECE OF BACON?" Pooh Bear screamed as he threw Piglet furiously into the honey pots. Piglet yelped and groaned as blood spurted from his mouth, blinding him. Through the red and black haze he saw Pooh Bear coming at him again with an angry look in his devil black eyes. Piglet screamed as Pooh bear picked him up.

"Be careful you will hurt my baby!" said Piglet.

"I don't care!" said Pooh as he threw Piglet against the mirror. The mirror shattered and bits of glass and wood stuck in Piglet's head, making him look like a rectum sun.

"And if you ever disobey me again it will be your mom" said Pooh Bear as he grabbed a pot of honey and drank it all in like 10 seconds. "RRRRRRRRR" said Pooh Bear as he slammed down the honey pot. "I'm gonna get me some bitches!" and he went away.

Piglet gasped in agony and picked himself up off the floor. He pulled stuff out of his head and put it back on the mirror, then he picked up an empty honey pot and put all his things into it crying. He went outside and slammed the door, and started to walk in the opposite direction to Pooh. He loved Pooh and would never hurt him just sometimes Pooh was really mean. So when Pooh was mean, Piglet went to his ex Kanga's place and state for a few days.

Today Kanga was out at work so Piglet made himself at home. Roo bounced in with his best friend Lumpy. Roo and Lumpy stopped bouncing. "Hi dad" said Roo.

"Hi Roo" said Piglet.

"What's wrong with your face/' said Roo.

"Nothing" said Piglet as he pulled his hat on to cover his bleeding eyes. Then Roo and Lumpy went outside to play and Piglet went to the fridge. He went through Kanga's food and pulled out some chips and a beer and he sat down to watch the boxing match. He could hear his bastard son outside kicking Lumpy around, and it was annoying. Soon Kanga came home from work and brought the kids inside except for Lumpy who went away home. Piglet didn't know where Lumpy lived but he supposed it was in the upper class area with his white bread parents and dinner every night. Kanga sat at the table with Roo and Piglet and poured out some soup into everyone's bowls. "How was school today dear?" said Kanga.

"It was okay" said Roo.

"What did you do?" said Kanga.

"Me and Lumpy locked that bitch Curly in the lockers and she screamed for like hours" said Roo.

"Thats nice" said Kanga. "So why are you staying with us Piglet?"

"Pooh doesn't approve of my baby" said Piglet. "He said that next time it would be my mom"

"Oh dear that's awful" said Kanga. "You should really call the cops on him"

"Yeah but I love him" said Piglet and nobody said anything else.

Then Kanga's gangster boyfriend came home and started slapping her around. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU DUMB BITCH" said Tigger as he threw Kanga against the wall "I WANTED DINNER ON THE TABLE BY THE TIME I CAME HOME AND NOW I FIND THIS LITTLE RAT IS EATING MY BEANS. ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR?"

"No I'm not having an affair" said Kanga as she cried and blood came out of her nose but Tigger didn't believe her so he started beating up Piglet.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY GIRLFRIEND YOU SICK PIG" said Tigger angrily. Then Piglet got mad and hit Tigger back, and he threw him so hard against the table that Tigger snapped his neck and DIED. Kanga got up off the floor and wiped the blood off her face. Roo began to cry. Piglet cried also. "We have to hide the body" said Kanga so she and Piglet rolled Tigger outside and Roo mopped up all the blood. Then Piglet and Kanga dumped Tigger in the river and walked away.

The next day Piglet and Kanga were in the house. Roo was at school. Kanga was watching Springer and Piglet was also watching Springer with her. Piglet side.

"Whats the matter?' said Kanga.

"It's Pooh" said Piglet "its like I can't trust him anymore.

"You can always trust me" said Kanga and she hugged Piglet, and then suddenly... THEY STARTED TO MAKE OUT AGGRESSIVELY and Piglet turned Springer up so the neighbours wouldn't hear as he unbuttoned Kanga's pouch and put his 'curly tail' into her pouch.

"Oh Piglet I have wanted this for so long" said Kanga and she smiled and gasped. It wasn't her first time so it didn't hurt so much.

"Yeah I love you Kanga, I always have and I want to start a family with you" said Piglet as he orgasmed. Then he and Kanga lay there watching Springer arm in arm. But little did they know that Pooh Bear had come to Kanga's house to apologise to Piglet and had HEARD THE WHOLE THING.


End file.
